Has fame and fortune finally caught up to Bling Bling? The paparazzi caught her with a wrapper of suboxone – an opiate and controlled substance like heroin. She was trying to snort lines in the street before the cameras caught a glimpse of her. Major, and I mean MAJOR, Corgi news outlets are breaking the story that Bling may be a Corgi addict and may require Corgi rehab.
The thing is, the life of a celebrity Corgi isn’t an easy one. 24/7 media coverage every time she barks, journalists looking to make their career by digging up the same stuff that Bling dug up just a few minutes earlier – it’s brutal. Plus the travel schedule is unrelenting. Trips to the dog park, trips to her grandparents house, free runs in the yard – all of it wears you down. And what do you need when your worn down? That’s right, suboxone. Bling, it’s a sad but all too common tale of woe. First it starts with a few uppers, you know to get you through that busy premier. Then you need the downers to help you sleep at night because you’re on Good Morning America early tomorrow. But then you’re on Letterman and need a few more uppers. And pretty soon some private cardiologist is administering propofol to you just so you can catch some shut-eye. I can hardly blame you.
Fortunately after an intervention, Bling has seen the light. She’s interested in Corgi rehab. First, she needed medical clearance at the local doggie ER – The Betty Ford Clinic wanted a full lab panel, EKG…and alcohol level even though Bling doesn’t drink. Then she needed insurance authorization and that’s where she hit a bit of a snag. Seems like dogs don’t have detox/rehab coverage on their health insurance policies…if they even have a health insurance policy to begin with.
After pulling a few strings, her agents were able to secure a spot at the most prestigious rehab facility in Malibu. Bling is committed to change and willing to take monthly drug tests to prove it. She’ll be peeing in a cup until the public can trust her again.